(BO WALKS IN WITH A GLASS OF JACK DANIEL’S WITH COKE, SITS DOWN NEXT TO THE INTERVIEWER AND STARTS SINGING) „Give me another whiskey, Mr Bartender, If you don’t, I’m gonna stick your dick in the blender!“ WITH THE NEW ALBUM „1-800 VINDICATION“ YOU OPENED YOUR MUSIC FOR MODERN INFLUENCES SUCH AS SAMPLES AND SOUND EFFECTS. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE TO DO SO. DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE HEADING TOWARDS A CREATIVE DEAD-END? Bo: It has never been our intention to not use the samples or the synthesizers before. But this is the first album that we’ve made with… recorded it on a computer on a hard disk with the pro-tools. So this is the first time for us that we had the chance to just give ourselves totally in to Heavy Metal/ Techno. And that’s what we have done. It’s not all that death metal anymore, it’s just a mixture in between. I PERSONALLY CAN’T FIND ANY TECHNO FEEL OR TECHNO VIBE TO IT. WHERE DO YOU HEAR TECHNO? Bo: It’s maybe because we had two guys from Berlin, who covered it all up with techno nioses. And then we’ve just erased what we didn’t want to use. So, basically we started out with, it was all covered in techno then. And then right now it’s just like what we felt, were useful for us. Jakob: And the two guys who programmed all the techno stuff, they are real techno programmers. So, it has to be techno, you know. In some way. WELL, IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT TECHNO… AT LEAST IT’S VERY SUBTLE, IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S OVERLOADED WITH SAMPLES AND PROGRAMMING. SO YOU BASICALLY CUT OUT MOST OF THE TECHNO PARTS? Bo: We’ve cut off… Of course, we’ve cut out most of the techno stuff. So, what you hear now is samples. But is was full, complete songs back then, when we made the album. We just kind of didn’t want to sound like Rammstein or some shite. Jakob: And of course, the primary thing is the death metal. So, we put the techno stuff a bit down in the mix. So, it’s not like overwhelming or something. IS THERE A CHANCE THAT YOU WILL RELEASE THE TECHNO OUTTAKES LATER IN THE FUTURE? LIKE FEAR FACTORY, FOR EXAMPLE, WHO RECORD ONE SONG AND BRING OUT A DOZEN DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF IT? Bo: Live. Yeah, we are doing it live as well. Through a computer and a sequencer. So, it’s kind of like, if you come to our soundcheck, you will hear a lot of techno. (chuckles) But basically, no. We don’t have an intention of that. But we’re using a Danish raver now, Liam O’Connor from Ireland. And he’s… we’ve done a remix of one of the songs, which are gonna get a lot of airplay in Denmark. And that’s more like a techno feeling than basicall heavy metal. YOU WILL GET A LOT OF AIRPLAY WITH THAT SONG? HOW DO YOU KNOW?! Bo: It will only get airplay cause, like Illdisposed… we are basically fucked cause we play heavy metal in Denmark. It’s not like Germany. We are only like five million people in Denmark, so…Compared to like in London, there is like ten million people living there, mot of them listening to the harder rock scene. So, basically we’re fucked when we play heavy metal. Jakob: Denmark is way behind Norway and Sweden and Germany about heavy metal. BUT WHY IS THAT? SCANDINVIA IS KNOWN FOR IT’S WEALTH OF EXTREME METAL BANDS, BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE A HIGHER DENSITY OF BANDS IN SWEDEN, NORWAY AND FINLAND. I THOUGHT, ALL SCANDINAVIANS ARE GETTING GRANTS FROM THE STATE FOR INSTRUMENTS AND PRACTISE ROOMS? ISN’T THAT THE CASE IN DENMARK? Bo: It’s because in Norway or Sweden they are fuckin‘ queer. They are all gays. And they don’t have anything to drink. So, they burn themselves their own liqueur, cause a beer in Sweden is like four euros. And you have to buy, there’s something called „Systembolaget“. In Denmark the beer is like here, it’s like fünfzig Cents oder so watt. So, yeah, basically they play besser than us, cause they are not drunk all the time. OH, COME ON – THAT’S NOT A REASON. YOU CAN’T BLAME IT ALL ON THE ALCOHOL, CAN YOU? I MEAN, YOU CAN, BUT… Bo: It’s not like, we blame it on the alcohol. The alcohol is blaming us. I’m not drinking this beer, this beer is drinking me. Jakob: Ok, the Sweden and Norwegian government also support the musicians. They don’t do that in Denmark. So that’s another reason. But the alcohol is the main thing. Bo: I didn’t know that, by the way. THE THING WITH THE GRANTS? Bo: For the students? Jakob: (explains grant system for musical education in Danish) IF YOU WANT TO BUY AN INSTRUMENT, THEY’LL GIVE YOU MONEY FOR A GUITAR, AND THEY WILL ALSO PAY YOUR REHEARSAL ROOM! Bo: Really?!? Yeah…(looks very puzzled) Please let the listeners know, that I’m making the international sign for „schwul“! BUT HOW IS YOUR RELATION-SHIP WITH OTHER DANISH METAL BANDS? IS THERE SOMETHING LIKE A SCENE? Bo: It’s like us versus them. It’s… we don’t have a community, so. We don’t like have any support bands in Denmark. We are number one in Denmark, have been seit ’93. We play like fourteen years now. Since ’91 in this band. We don’t support anybody in Denmark, and nobody supports us. So, it’s us versus them. If you want to talk to other Danish metal bands, then seek ‚em on the internet. I don’t know ‚em. Don’t wanna know ‚em. COULDN’T FIND ANY IN THE FIRST PLACE… Jakob: And all the Danish bands they hate us, because we are just way bigger than them. OH REALLY? SO THERE’S JEALOUSY AND COMPETITION GOING ON INSTEAD OF FRIENDSHIP AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHER? Jakob: Pretty much. Yeah. It’s like a big fight. It’s like a boxing ring in Denmark. Everybody wants to be the best, but nobody can reach our socks. YOU DO HAVE A GOOD REPUTATION IN SCANDINAVIA AND NORTHERN EUROPE. BUT FOR EXAMPLE IN SOUTHERN EUROPE THEY DON’T REALLY KNOW YOU. Bo: It’s because (says something in Danish) THEY’VE GOT WHAT? Bo: That’s just a saying. No, we never played… I think the deepest event was Paris. But that was like back in ’93, when we played Lille and Paris in France. So, we’ve never played Italy, Spain or so, but they’re like ten years behind. So, they’ll understand why we haven’t been around. I guess. I hope. (gets really close to the microphone and says something in Danish) DOES THAT TRANSLATE INTO: „I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO THE MICROPHONE?“ BECAUSE THAT’S HOW YOU JUST LOOKED THERE, AT LEAST… BUT WHY HAVE YOU NEVER TRIED TO MAKE IT ON A BIG SCALE? YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN WITH DIEHARD REECORDS, YOU… Bo: (interrupts) No, no. That’s completely false. Until now our best album were „There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark“. That one we made on Serious Entertainment. It sold over 20.000 copies in America. So it’s like… then we went to Invasion Records in Eastern Germany, ehemalige Ossis. And they were like going bankrupt, when we signed with them. And then we went back to Diehard, just so they could suck our asses for another two records. So, that’s basically what happened, you know. We just took the money and went on, really. But this time we are going the whole way to Roadrunner and Universal, yeah, in Germany. BUT STILL… YOU ALWAYS HAD STRONG ALBUMS, EVEN IN THE INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION YOU WOULD HAVE HAD A GOOD CHANCE TO MAKE IT. Jakob: Can we quote you with that? YEAH, YOU CAN. Bo: That’s the fuckin‘ back of a T-shirt: „You would have had a good chance!“ BUT I DO HAVE THE FEELING THAT SOMEHOW SOMEONE HASN’T TRIED HARD ENOUGH IN THE PAST YEARS. IF IT WAS THE MANAGEMENT, OR THE RECORD COMPANY, OR THAT YOU COULDN’T GET OFF YOUR ASSES. I DON’T KNOW…?! Bo: Illdisposed is all about friends. It’s not about the music and how far it can go. Cause we can go „Fuck all!“ and we could go everywhere. It depends all on how you put it yourself. But we would rather be mates than just fuck around and, you know, sell ourselves like fuckin‘ prostitutes. So, Illdisposed is all about being mates instead of being fuckin‘ rock stars or whatever. That’s my opinion at least. And I fuckin‘ started the band. Eyy-weyy. RIGHT, WE’LL GET TO THE ROCK STAR THING LATER…BUT LET’S COME BACK TO THE MUSIC HERE. IT SEEMS THAT YOU KIND OF SLOWED DOWN THE MUSIC. OUT OF TEN SONGS THERE ARE ONLY THREE UP-TEMPO SONGS. AND THE FASTEST SONG IS THE LAST SONG ON THE ALBUM. WAS THAT A COINCIDENCE OR A PLAN? Bo: It’s because the first one is kind of fast. And „Mr. Jeff“, number five, is kind of fast and number ten. So, it’s one-five-ten. But obviously we like the mid-tempo type. We started our first two records, were like Suffocation or somewhat, American inspired at least. But now it’s like, we found ourself, and yxou can’t really say what we play like. We play like Illdisposed, and that’s it. We play mid-tempo. We’re fuckin‘ big, heavy dudes, you know. I weigh like 230 pounds, so I can’t be fast at any point. Yeah, I may be a fast drinker, but a slow shitter. Jakob: Well, maybe we are too old to play grindcore anyway. BUT IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH, THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE IT ON A BIG SCALE? Bo: Just listen to our fuckin‘ album, and you will see that since ’95, in „Submit“, when we made it with Tom Hansen, the producer from Helloween here in Germany. We fuckin‘ started that. We, at first we called it death’n roll. Then we called it heavy metal. And then we called it fee metal or in Danish: „fee metall“. Es bedeutet nur „fetter Metall“, das ist unser Gebiet. Es ist nicht… sorry, it’s not grindcore, it’s not thrash metal, it’s not fuckin‘ death metal. We just play fat metal.“ph“, phat metal. So, that’s what I think at least. Fat metal with shitty vocals. I WOULDN’T SAY SHITTY VOCALS, BUT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT… Bo: You said that first, hey? NO, I DIDN’T! TO ME THE ALBUM SOUNDS, AS IF YOU TOOK THE BEST FROM OTHER BANDS: I HEAR ENTOMBED IN THERE, I HEAR SLAYER IN THERE, I HEAR BITS OF MACHINE HEAD AND IN FLAMES IN THERE AND EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF NU METAL. IT’S LIKE ALMOST FISHING FOR COMPARISONS. WHAT COMPARISONS DO YOU HATE THE MOST? Bo: Metalcore! Cause I don’t fuckin‘ understand it. What is it anyway? You know Heaven shall burn from Germany? They are like: „We don’t eat meat! We don’t fuckin‘ fuck bitches! We don’t drink any beers!“ They’re „straight edge“. That’s what they’re called. With the red cross, so of course, we have invented the „round edge“. It means beers, bitches and beef! That’s what we are all about. In Rock Hard they called us metalcore, but what the fuck is it, metalcore? I can’t hear… I just heard Shadow’s Fall. They are all long-haired. We’re like short-haired, you know. But Shadow’s Fall, besides from the drummer, they are all long-haired. What the fuck is all that about? Metalcore… Fuck off! You know, sod off and. I COULD SEE WHERE THE METALCORE COMPARISONS COME FROM. IT’S LIKE AGGRESSIVE MUSIC AND GUITAR-RIFFING, BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE YOU HAVE VERY MELODIC CHORUSES MOSTLY SUNG WITH A CLEAN VOICE. BUT I PERSONALLY CAN’T HEAR TOO MUCH METALCORE, TO BE HONEST. Bo: Me neither. But that’s only because I don’t know what the fuck metalcore is. What is it then? I listen to fuckin‘ Caliban, Heaven shall burn, Shadow’s fall; and the other cunts, Killswitch Engage from the States. And they are like thrash metal. With a bit of shitty vocals like meself. But why is that metalcore? Is it because they don’t eat meat? I don’t know why. Maybe you can explain it, or he can. I can’t, for sure. THE MUSIC IS METAL, USUALLY INSPIRED BY SLAYER AND THE ATTITUDE COMES FROM THE HARDCORE GENRE. Bo: Slayer is fuckin‘ Slayer, you know. Slayer is not death metal, it’s not thrash metal, it’s fuckin‘ Slayer. You can’t say, because you’re playing that in that way. They don’t sound like each other, you know. To me it’s like death metal, this Heaven shall burn shit. I think, you can maybe say it’s badly played. Cataract, Cataract is the same. It’s a shitty drummer, and a fuckin‘ shitty vocalist like meself. Yeah. YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE TOO CONVINCED ABOUT YOUR SINGING… Bo: No. I’ve never called meself a singer. I’m a subwoofer. YOU JUST SAID THAT YOU HATE STRAIGHT EDGE. YOU’RE PRETTY MUCH THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF STRAIGHT EDGE… Bo: I don’t fuckin‘ hate straight edge. But what the fuck is it? I mean, how come you can’t eat a beef? That’s like the British bands back then. When they came over from Bolt Thrower and shite. There were skinny like a fuckin‘ skeleton. All of them. (starts imitating gay, whiny accent) „Hey, we don’t eat any meat!°, „How come?“, Cause we’re fuckin‘ wankers, that’s why!“. YOU’RE DRINKING A LOT OF ALCOHOL, NOT ONLY IN YOUR SPARE TIME, BUT ALSO BEFORE SHOWS. DO YOU THINK THAT MIGHT EVER TURN OUT AS A BACKLASH IN THE FUTURE? LIKE FUCKING UP SHOWS ON A CONSTANT BASIS? Bo: Because of the alcohol, because we are kind of heavy drinkers, it might be a bit bullish, we have been banned from several places in Denmark. Also above, and below in Germany. So, I think we were the first heavy metal band that had to sign a non-alcoholic politic, playing festivals and shite, you know. Like when we play, Illdisposed, when we play, we have to sign that we’re not drunk on stage. Other bands don’t have to do that. So, that’s what they have fuckin‘ done to us. A FRIEND OF MINE MET YOU AT THE „UP FROM THE GROUND“ FESTIVAL THIS SUMMER. AND SHE WAS QUITE SHOCKED TO SEE YOU TOTALLY WASTED AROUND NOON, WHEN YOU HAD TO PLAY A SHOW LATER. Jakob: I was so drunk, that I couldn’t play. HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU, THAT YOU THOROUGHLY FUCKED UP A SHOW BECAUSE OF HAVING ONE TOO MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU GOT ON STAGE? Bo: Ah, we did that at „Up from the ground“, you know. It was like, we were the first band that they called out for a Zugabe two times. But we played like shite. I sang my vocals as always, but the other guys they just played fucked up. They slept for half an hour before we played. We drank like fourty Wodka-Red Bulls before we played, each man. And then we took something called MDMA, it’s a mixture between Kokain and Extasy. So, that’s what fuckin‘ happened. Jakob. It’s not really our fault, because our contract with the festival said, that we had free beers, free drinks.So it’s their own fault. Bo: Yeah, we had the fuckin‘ tokens. Jakob: We had like a million of these beer tickets. And whatever should we do? We came there early in the morning, we had nothing to do there. It was raining there like it’s raining outside now. And we could do nothing but drink. Didn’t even want to eat. We just drank all day and played a pretty bad show. YOU’RE SO COMIC ABOUT THAT. IT’S LIKE: „YEAH, WE’RE DRINKING LOTS OF BOOZE, WE’RE SHAGGING GROUPIES IN HOTEL ROOMS AND ALL THAT SHIT!“ TO ME YOU SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF KIDS IN A TOY STORE, BENEFITTING FROM THE ROCK’N ROLL CLICHÉS! Bo: Do you know the Marshal amplifiers? YEAH! Bo (stands up and holds up an Illdisposed shirt): Here’s a T-shirt from Illdisposed shaped like a Marshall amplifier with gain button, the drive button, the volume button and the suck button. On twelve. And what does it say on the back? We suck! That’s what we’re all about. THAT’S A PRETTY ORIGINAL SHIRT, I GOTTA SAY. Bo: It’s not „suck“ suck. It’s stinky-stink-play-play. We really suck! BUT DO YOU THINK YOU’LL ALWAYS GET AWAY WITH THAT IN THE FUTURE? BECAUSE THE RECORD COMPANY AND THE PROMOTERS WILL KICK YOUR ASSES IF YOU KEEP ON DRINKING BEFORE SHOWS AND FUCKING THEM UP DELIBERATELY! DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT? Jakob: I don’t think so, because Henk from Roadrunner, he already saw us live. Bo: We can play. We can play, really. I KNOW YOU CAN PLAY. ESPECIALLY THE GUITAR SECTION IS… Bo: We’re the tightest spunse of tight fuckers you ever tighted between a tight asshole and a tightness. So, it’s: fuck off! It’s just like: yeah. We do whatever we want. I think Roadrunner like it, cause we’re not fucking In Flames, we’re not your fucking basic „We- don’t-eat-beef-wankers“ from Germany or England. We’re fucking Danish heavy metal. So, that’s what we are all about. Jakob: And there is a really thin line between being drunk and being piss-assed drunk. So, you know… Bo: Shit-faced. Jakob: Shit-faced, piss-ass drunk. You know, most of the time we’re just drunk. You know, 15 beers or whatever, 20 beers. Sometimes it gets a little out of hand, and then we play like shit. But, whatever. BUT TO ME… THE BEGINNING OF „JEFF“ IS FROM WAYNE’S WORLD, RIGHT? Jakob: Yeah, it is. THAT’S HOW I FELT ABOUT YOUR IMAGE, ESPECIALLY AFTER READING THE LYRICS. THIS IS SOOO WAYNE’S WORLD. IT’S LIKE: „ROCK’N ROOOOLL!“ Bo: It’s just me and one of my roadies. We just gone on by when that movie came out, and everytime we worked together, we were like: „Hey, what the fuck are you doing?“, „I’m sorry, mate!“, „Ok… Jeff!“ We just… you know, there is so many bands, so and so, like the Fine Young Cannibals naming a title „Johnny“. (looks at the interviewer who’s taking a sip out of her beer bottle and gives her a wicked smile) Aahh, you’re fucking drinking beer in the interview, aren’t you? Ahh… ?! YOU FORCED ME TO DRINK THE BEER!!! Bo: There is so many bands have made a song named „Johnny“ or fucking „Jenny“ or „You’re gonna get your pennies worth“, or you’re like fucking cocksy cocksy Pistepirkko from Finland type. So, no, we made a song called „Jeff“. Just because it’s a cool name. And just because me and my mate were running around back in the nineties saying: „OK… Jeff!“ That’s why. OK, THAT EXPLAINS IT. Bo: No, it doesn’t. It explains fuck all, but that’s what it’s about. IN THE SONG „DARK“ THERE IS A LINE SAYING: „DARK SUN, DARK MINDS“. BUT THAT DOESN’T SEEM TO APPLY TO YOU. WOULD YOU SAY YOU’VE GOT DARK MINDS? Bo: Dark eyes, dark fl… ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THAT CLICHE, THAT EXTREME METAL BANDS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK GRIM AND ACT EVIL, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE FROM SCANDINAVIA? Bo: Really. We do fucking hate it. When I talk about hell, it’s the personal hell, you know. Coming home to your girlfriend and she’s fucking foamed out that you have a condom in your backpocket. „What the fuck are you gonna use it for?“, „Yeah, it’s not for you for sure, because I’m gonna bang you up right now!“ But, you know, it’s not like, devilish hell, there’s no fucking God, there is no fucking hell, there is just us. The fucking Danes from Illdisposed. So, when I talk about hell, it’s a personal hell. When talk about darkness, it’s my own personal darkness, you know. My mind is clouded. I have a dark mind. If not, I’m fucking pissed, go to the pub. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT IT IN A MORE COMIC WAY WITH YOUR LYRICS AND THE WHOLE IMAGE. Bo: It’s all me lyrics it’s about, you know, getting fucking whipped out from a girl, you know. It’s about sexual obedience and what not. It’s not about:(starts chanting) „Eyy, Satan, praise the Lord, the horned almighty!“ Fuck ‚em! There is no Satan, there is just us. Yeah, and the other cunts from Denmark. I MEAN, ESPECIALLY YOU BO, ARE ALWAYS BRAGGING ABOUT… Bo: I’m not bragging. BUT YOU MAKE IT KNOWN TO THE PUBLIC, THAT YOU’VE GOT NO PROBLEM WITH GROUPIES OR TAKING A SHIT IN PUBLIC OR THROWING UP ON STAGE AND ALL OF THAT. ARE THERE ANY TABOOS YOU COULD IMAGINE THERE? OR IS IT MORE LIKE: LET YOURSELF GO, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT? Bo: I think here in Germany it’s all clutched up with the right/ left-wing thing. So, here in Germany at least, I never mention politics. Cause when we played Eastern Germany, für die ehemalige Ossis, they have a fuckin‘, there is no swasticas in here. Gegen Nazis. But now there is also gegen the hammer from the Soviets and shit. It’s all about metal. But here in Western Germany it’s only „gegen Nazis“. So, I could say here in Western Germany, that’s a fucking political thing. You are lefties instead of metal. But I won’t. I will never bring it up, you know. I’m a leftie, I’m a rightie, I’m everything. I don’t have a fucking opinion. But I could bring it up, that’s the only thing I don’t want to bring up. That’s the fucking political game here in Germany. Cause with all you warshite, you fucking war-mongers, Germans. (INTERVIEWER CRINGES IN PAIN AND GIVES TIME-OUT SIGNALS) Bo: That’s a fucking taboo, you know. But I can speak about it, you know. Because I’m a fucking Dane. IN THE SONG „DARK“ YOU TALK ABOUT BEING A VIKING. WHAT DO YOU PERSONALLY THINK ABOUT VIKING METAL, WHICH HAS BECOME KIND OF IT’S OWN GENRE NOW? AND WHAT MAKES OUT A REAL VIKING THESE DAYS – IF THERE IS SUCH THING? Bo: I think a band like… Bands who play under the viking theme like Amon Amarth, they are full of shite. Cause what the fuck is going on? You’re like fucking living in Stockholm or some shit. That’s a big city with over a million people living there. And we could like be living in Kopenhagen (spits out). Would we be vikings then? „Yeah, yeah, we’re from Denmark!“ That’s over a fucking million years ago, that there was vikings there. That’s shitty. That’s what I say in „Dark“: „We’re vikings, we have blue eyes.“ It’s fucking ironical, you know. There’s still people going, you know, on their first trip, you know, when they are like 16 years old, they go to Spain, you know, on a youth trip with the fucking school bus. And they’re: „Yeah… Here comes the Vikings!“ Fuck off! You’ve been sucking your mama’s tits since you were like three years old to like nine years. Fuck off! There is no Vikings left. Not even the Sweden, Norwegian, it’s like the whole black metal scene. You’re not so black, you’re not so Viking, you’re fuck all. You live in Stockholm or Oslo. You’re fuck all. That’s what I mean about the whole Viking thing. It’s out of proportions, you know. The Hedons and shit, you know. What the fuck is that all about? Going around with Thor’s hammer hanging around your neck, like you’re a fucking Hedon. Fuck off! I can explain why there is lightning. It’s not like Thor is riding around with his scouts in the sky, hammering lightning set to your house, it’s a fucking natural phenomena. Bastard cunts! Jakob: I think I’m not part of the lyrics. Bo: (walks off, in an obviously distressed way) HEYYY… COME BACK! DO YOU THINK I HATE YOUR MUSIC?!? (JAKOB CHUCKLING) Bo: (returns with a drink and sits down again) I don’t fucking care, because I hate it. But hey, I’m not doing it. I’m just doing the shitty vocals. But please, ask away. Do so!! I just… you know, you caught me on a fucking bad day. I just speak my mind. That’s what I’m all about. I don’t want to wrap it all in and say: „Ohh, we’re so and so, and shit ands shit!“ You just asked me about the whole Viking thing, and I think it’s shite. What the fuck is it all about? Yeah… I’m a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Eric the Viking. The fuck you’re not. You’re the son of a mother who fucked, yeah, some kind of cunt in Stockholm. You’re not fucking Viking. You look shite. WOW. Bo: But it’s ironical. The dark, the whole „Dark“ song: „In this land we are strong“. The fuck we’re not! We’re fucking sitting on our lazy asses doing nothing, you know. We have, we are Vikings, we have blue eyes. The fuck we haven’t. Yeah, at least I have blue eyes, but I’m not a fucking Viking. My grandmother was a fucking gipsy. They all called her gipsy. She was from France. Where do you think, I got this big hairy eyebrows from? SPEAKING OF IRONY AND SARCASM: THE LYRICS TO THE SONG „NOW WE’RE HISTORY“ ARE LIKE THE CHEESIEST LOVE LYRICS I’VE HEARD IN A WHILE. HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING TO WRITE A BALLAD FOR THE LOVE-SICK METALHEAD? Bo: „We lie in the snow“, I want to comment that. That’s „We’re lying in the snow“ from „Somethings rotten“. That’s „We lie in the snow, Part II“. And „We lie in the snow“ was all about cocaine, you know. Snow?!?? And, you know, it starts with little lies. You come home to your little missus, and she say: „Where have you been?“, „Rehearsal room!“, „But, you don’t rehearse!“, „Yeah, I do! Every wednesday!“, „No! You’re on fucking smack. I can see it in your face!“, „No! I’m not doing cocaine!“ And so on, and so on. It’s all about the little lies, and they’re like, in a relation-ship they will go to big lies. And eventually you break up. Like I’ve done with all me girlfriends. So, „Now we’re history“ is just a reminder, a repeater from that one, „We lie in the snow“. It’s the same riff, it’s the same everything with a bit of techno and some shitty vocals. So, it’s a ballad. It sounds like the fucking Scorpions have returned, with a better lead-singer, of course. Jakob: Well, but the song „Now we’re history“, it’s definitely about cocaine. You know the song from „There’s something rotten“, it’s called „We lie in the snow“. It said: now we’re done with cocaine. But we were not done with cocaine. So… Bo: Aah, cocaine was done with us and our money. Jakob: Yeah. But this album we say it: now we’re history with cocaine. But we are not. So on the next album it says: „Now we are definitely history“! I guess. Maybe. Bo: At some point you are right with the love song. It is a love song. We fucking love the smack! Really. A fucking good whore and some cocaine, that’s the best thing you will ever get! And the most honest thing. So… YOU’RE STILL STUCK WITH THE SEX DRUGS AND ROCK’N ROLL CLICHÉ. DON’T YOU THINK, IT’S A BIT DATED? OR DID SOMEONE GIVE YOU THE BOOK „THE DIRT“ BY MÖTLEY CRÜE FOR CHRISTMAS? Bo: I don’t know ‚em. I think they are fuckin‘ bollocks, but I like Tommy Lee. He has a big penis. OK, LET’S GET BACK TO SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS. WHAT ARE THE PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. ARE YOU GOING TO TOUR THE ALBUM? Jakob: Yeah, we are. We are probably going on tour in January with Shadow’s Fall. Bo: Nothing is…Quite uncertain, yeah. Jakob: Nothing is certain. But that’s what we are counting on. Bo: No, we are not counting on it, like depending on it. Like, we want to do it. We have a touring obligation, and we want to fulfill it, you know. For the fans, because we fucking love playing heavy metal, and getting shit-faced all night. And you can probably imagine what it’s like, backstage with Illdisposed, you know. We eat beef, and we like bitches and beer. ARE THE GIRLS LITERALLY DOGGING YOU, OR ARE YOU STILL SWOOPING ON GIRLS? HOW DO YOU GET THEM?`THE TYPICAL GROUPIE – I BELIEVED THAT SPECIES HAS DIED OUT SOMETIME IN THE LATE EIGHTIES?!? Jakob: No, it hasn’t. They are still coming. And, you know, they are there all the time. Bo: What the fuck is up with that? Look at us. We look like fucking shite, you know. I look like a fucking dog pissed all over me face before it had a crap on me teeth as well. So, you know, it’s the music who does it. It’s not us.I can’t help it, I just get a fucking hard-on everytime I see a girl, with long hair at least. (INTERVIEWER RUSHES FOR A HAIRBAND AND HAS HER HAIR TIED BACK WITHIN SECONDS…) OH MAN… THIS IS LIKE THE WEIRDEST INTERVIEW I’VE DONE FOR A WHILE!!! Bo: It’s like: why should you do another fucking heavy metal interview?! And people could just talk you after your mouth? Why should we? We just speak our minds. I know, 90% of what me and Jakob says is like un-political, not political correct. But we fucking say it anyways. Who should stop us? Not our fucking label. They love us. Why shouldn’t they? We are still workers.But we are not Vikings. We don’t have blue eyes. YOU DO HAVE BLUE EYES… Bo: Yeah, but not per se. Not per se, that’s like: we don’t play on it. We are Scandinavian, fuck off. We’re German if we want to be. We live a lot in Germany, Denmark, Mainland, Arhus.